Im gone...

This post is meant to enlighten you to the eye opening realization I had recently and my choice to adopt Trent. Just because I chose this road doesn't mean you have to. Where I'm going I'm gone...

"life is like an open road

living like a rolling stone

till the day I'm rolling home"

Before Trent, (BT) I had no concept of unconditional love or sacrifice. I did what I wanted, who I wanted and when I wanted. I was up all night and traveled. I did my share of partying and living the lifestyle that was appealing at the time...

But then Trent showed up at my house.  8 years old. Angry at the world and everyone in it. I have two choices, take it or leave it. There was nothing else to say and there was no thinking but into the decision. I knew in my heart, if Trent had any chance at a good life, I had to do what I was about to do.

but i know this, life don't grant you the luxury of indecisiveness, you fuck around and

wait too long and see how quick your life can flip 

But God presented this to me,  "he's like you like this shit?"  and I'm like "yeah" 

and he's like "give up your whole life and shit"  everything I love for a shot 

for the glory writing a new chapter this is my life story…

It's true. When it comes to a decision as serious as becoming a parent, you know that God did put this gift in your lap and you chose to give up your whole life for it. I did. May will be our One year Anniversary as mom and son. The judge asked me those same questions. I answered them yes then, and yes now.

I have dealt with reactions, whether they are good, bad or indifferent. The best part is that it does not matter. It was my choice. I chose my choice. My life is not for everyone, our life, is not for everyone.

The adoption did not change me, it allowed me to evolve into something better. Stronger. I do not party all night anymore. I am not able to just get up and go places without worry. I now do things for us, for our future, for our happiness. I am still a human being. I have no regrets. I have looked sacrifice in the eye that bitch backed down.

I'm not quite dead yet, still got some life in me, still got some fight in me,

don't want to ever  have to wonder what my life would be, 

this is mine rightfully see this life ain't for you but its alright for me

I will never look back to think what my life might have been if I would have chose not to take in Trent. I can not imagine my life without him in it. I was gone, but now baby I'm home.