And quickly he's subdued
Through constant pained disgrace
The young boy learns their rules
I feel an instant need to educate girls and woman about getting pregnant. I understand that I do not know what that is like however, I am going to dedicate this post to all those children who fight every day to survive.
Before Monkey was born, we had no idea that he wasn't being taken care of. You just assume that with the age of the internet and Health class, one might know that you have to take care of yourself and this being inside of you. Vitamins. Doctor visits. Diet and rest. No smoking. No drugs. No drinking. It is no longer about you.
When you choose to bypass the warnings, you quickly subdue the child. This child joins this earth with a strike.
With time the child draws in
This whipping boy done wrong
Deprived of all his thoughts
The young man struggles on and on he's known
A vow unto his own
That never from this day
His will they'll take away-eay
There is an unspoken "rule" that boys mature slower than girls. Walk later, talk later and potty train later. We were even farther behind the curve. On his first birthday, he was barley sitting. It wasn't until 2 and a half before he walked. By 3, there were grunts and frustration because he could not communicate with us. This is the "kid" who should not have survived child birth. I have been told that he should not be able to function down to the smallest tasks. Regardless of how frustrated he got, he continued to point at what he wanted. He would throw tantrums and his cups and his plates but he made it clear, in his mind, what he wanted.
They dedicate their lives
To RUNNING all of his
He tries to please THEM all
This bitter man he is
Throughout his life the same
He's battled constantly
This fight he cannot win
A tired man they see no longer cares
The old man then prepares
To die regretfully
That old man here is me
In his head, in his mind he is different. Not as smart as the other kids. Smaller than the other kids. He has a high pitched voice. He is bullied. He is ridiculed. He is secluded. They do not know, that his will keeps him going.
He struggles in school. Not only is he expected to to silence his mind, he has to keep up academically. He was in a main stream general education classroom. He has extra resources. Reading, Language and Math 2x a day. He misses his favorite classes, Science and Art. He is lost and confused. He is trying. He tries so very hard. Every day he wants to read more and more together so that he "is not dumb." So he can "read good like the other kids." As a mom and a human being, that pulls my heart through my stomach and then out my throat.
We read all the way to school. We read all the way to work. We read before bed. We read street signs and menu's and billboards. We read everything we can. At school, he is angry and frustrated and he begins to act up. He is screaming for someone to pay attention to the fact that he is trying with all his might, but he just keeps getting ignored. His chair is put in the center of the classroom alone, while the other kids stay grouped together. The teacher tells the other kids to stay away from him, so he can "focus." In one, just one teacher conference, I almost went bananas. This so called teacher could not show me one piece of work or tell me one positive thing about him. I understand all kids will have their own strengths and opportunities, and trust me, I will admit to mine and his. However, on what planet is there not a single thing RIGHT with someone.
That was the first and last teacher conference in that school. The next day I began researching schools. Not just for Special Needs children, but for Intellectually Disabled, Special Needs children. Most importantly, a school, to the truest meaning of the word. One that would teach him, feed his mind and have him craving for knowledge.
Within two weeks, I found one. I applied and he got accepted. I withdrew him and enrolled him overnight. We have found that in his new school. His smile is back. His personality is beaming like it did. He is happy and he is learning. And he loves it. And I love that.
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee UNFORGIVEN
We should always keep our eyes and hearts open to small blessings. I am blessed every second that Monkey is alive! I will never settle for status quo.
He fought to survive, I will fight for his life.
Maybe, just maybe, different is the new normal. I will never encourage him to be anyone but himself. I will never try to change or mold him into what he is not. I will vow that as long as there is air in my lungs and blood in my body, I will fight for him as he fights for himself <3
For all parents of a child with any type of disability or special need, please take time to review the Florida School Choice website. This shows private and public schools that are out there and what they specialize in. http://www.floridaschoolchoice.org/information/mckay/
In addition, parents entitled to a FREE parent advocate. They will go to conferences and meetings and help you get your voice across.
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
To all adults out there, whether you are parents are not, please remember that every child deserves a chance for happiness and love. Remember we have to be the voice for those that may not have one. Do not let them down.
http://www.childhelp.org/
http://www.adoptuskids.org/
